being out of school for a few days now has been positively ethereal. the house is maintaining some degree of order, we are eating 3 real meals each day, and the laundry and custome tie dye orders are caught up. if i were a cat i'd be curled up contentedly among the verdancy of our houseplants in the rare and beautiful late november sun streaming through our kitchen window. but i am most definitely *not* like a cat (i'm far too busy), and i keep finding other corners to improve, furniture to move, books that need to be re-organized...you get the idea. i'm positively domestic this week.
it's at times like this that i really feel ambivalent about my grad work. i want the freedom and career capital a master's degree will *supposedly* provide. but i want to end up homesteading, teaching my kids to keep bees and gather mushrooms, not sitting in a campus office. but i have an almost primal bias against quitting anything, so i plod on. there are definitely bright spots in the program thus far but each day i am faced with examples, writ small and large, of how my ideal life and my daily life do not, precisely put, dovetail.
the one shining light that i can still make out is the promise that my own research will eventually be able to be worked on. i owe that to the families i feel so much gratefulness and obligation to for taking the time and energy to help me flesh out exactly what this strange, and lovely throwback of a parenting strategy called attachment parenting REALLY is. boxes and boxes of data--about 2000 responses, each several pages long-- to be analyzed yet, but my current student/assistantship duties prevent me from taking the serious, big-chunk-of-time necessary to do that. when i get to the point that i can begin working on my thesis for credit hours, i can really concentrate on them.
:sigh:
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